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Goliath situation, but I’m fielding suggestions on how to bring her down.Ī) If you’re straight - convince your mom to stop watching Ellen. Next thing we know she’s gonna spend the weekend fracking with RuPaul. What’re we gonna do about Ellen? We heard she’s, like, viciously mean, yes? And now she’s BFFs with George Bush? Never underestimate an older white woman’s ability to flip red. Have you ever been bullied because of your same-sex partner?ī) Yes - go to question fourteen 14. Whatever it takes, gays.Ī) If you’re straight - Watch Love, Simon until you “get it.”ī) If you’re gay - We’d even take a creative arts Emmy, right? OK. I mean, Reese Witherspoon and Beyonce became BEST FRIENDS at the Globes. Let’s leverage that and get ? in ? the ? room ? sweetie. I’m 100% positive that we are the only demographic watching award shows anymore. Are you not allowed to adopt from certain countries because of your sexuality?ī) Yes - go to question twelve 12. For the community.Ī) If you’re straight - go shop for pride apparel at Targetī) If you’re a Disney gay - work your magic! Let’s go to question twelve. Okay, in Frozen 2, Elsa is super gay right? The scene where she’s by the fire with that woman, they’re, like, TOTALLY flirting. Have you ever been denied a job because of your sexuality?ī) Yes - Go to question ten 10. Would y’all pay for that?Ī) If you’re straight - go pretend to like Troye Sivanī) If you’re gay - make an OnlyFans! Go to question ten. Would y’all subscribe if I made one? While I’m not willing to try sex stuff, I am willing to take pictures with my shirt off. Listen, I know I’m late to the party, but what is the deal with OnlyFans? Seems lucrative, tbh. Have you ever planned a wedding with your same-sex partner?ī) Yes - go to question eight 8. First, what did we think of Pete Buttigieg? But more importantly, how many times did Chasten see Hamilton? Like, “Babe, the only way I can help the campaign is by taking your supporters to see Hamilton.” That’s some incredible shit right there.Ī) If you’re reading this and you’re straight - you better be watching Queer Eye.ī) If you’re gay - Chasten should play King George, right? Go to question eight. Have you ever brought your same-sex partner home and introduced them to your family?ī) Yes - Go to question six 6. Does anyone want to set up a listserv? Oohh, or a happy hour? Now that would be an absolute blast.Ī) If you’re reading this and you’re straight - go paint a rainbow on your accent wall.ī) If you’re reading this and you’re gay - let’s revive the gay agenda! Go to question six. Y’all, what is UP? We really should do this more often. Have you been in a relationship with someone of the same sex?ī) Yes - Go to question four 4. They’ll get suspicious.Ī) If you’re reading this and you’re straight - Woah, how’d you end up here? Be a good ally and go get an equal sign tattoo.ī) If you’re reading this and you’re gay - go to question four. They’re always doing that, aren’t they? Okay, this question can’t be too long. I designed this quiz to be a secure space where we could gab without the straights/breeders interrupting.
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Have you come out to your parents?ī) Yes - Go to question two 2.
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Well, good news, this quiz is here to finally answer your burning question: “Am I gay?” 1. Now that sexuality is more fluid than ever, it’s tough to know whether you’re actually gay or your close friends just get you rock hard.